This is the 404 page on the ISTC website, Yes, they’re a technical writing organisation.
What’s wrong here
They’re trying a bit too hard to be friendly, and they’re not used to it. You can tell there’s a background of writing formally from a few telltale phrases:
- “something has gone awry” rather than “something’s gone wrong” (no contraction and a formal/archaic word choice)
- “so here is” rather than “so here’s” (again, no contraction)
- “you can go back from whence you came” (archaic phrasing, and also wrong: whence means “from where”, so if they want to use whence, it should be “you can go back to whence you came”. But what’s wrong with “you can go back to the last page you were on”?)
This kind of thing makes it a mish-mash of formal and informal. The kittens are sweet, sure, but the picture jars with the formal language.
Something a bit better
Here’s a two-minute stab at the same content, rewritten. I think it’s an improvement:
Not super-duper friendly, but it’s relaxed enough. “Check you entered the URL correctly” is a little blunt. And I couldn’t work out how to get the kittens in without it seeming really awkward :(
Also, it’s 52 words instead of 110, so at least it’s not wasting anyone’s time.